Pork slices.

One of the best things about living by yourself is there is no such thing as an embarrassing meal. If there’s no-one to give you a withering look of pity or disgust you can eat a bag of corn chips or a watermelon for dinner, or  ramen noodles or Mountain Dew for breakfast and not feel bad about it.  Meals, in fact, cease to mean a great deal; aside from unusual choices of food, the key to the home alone dining experience is not to eat combinations of food at all; simply eat enough of one thing and say that that is, well, whatever meal you wish it to be.

Before you get any ideas, this is not a weblog post about how depressing it is to eat a half cooked cup of basmati rice and call it brunch in which you are supposed to see this as a clunky metaphor for the lonely emptiness of my existence.  The fact that one of the foods I can cook and eat as a meal is pork slices means if this is a clunky metaphor for anything, it is a clunky metaphor for freedom.


Mmmm…freedom. And grease.

Pork slices, for the uninitiated, are little strips of fatty pork.  They are basically layered in equal thicknesses meat, fat, meat, fat.  They taste delicious and even when they are partially cooked and framed by the horror that is my oven they look amazing. As you can see. 

Incidentally, the little cholesterol transmission devices you see here were cooked at eleven o’clock at night. If that’s not freedom from the constraints of socially prescribed meal-time normalcy I don’t know what is.

You can have pork slices with many other foods. It pairs well with all the sorts of wine for instance; they’re just that versatile. The point is though, you don’t have to. You shouldn’t in fact, because the effort-to-enjoyment ratio will actually go down if you pair pork slices with any other foodstuff because no other foodstuff is as good as pork slices.  Your enjoyment of the meal will be reduced if there is other food paired with the pork slices because during the times you are eating the celery or the hard-boiled eggs or whatever you pair with them, you won’t be eating the pork slices.  If you are able to eat them both at once and have a mouth half filled with egg and half filled with pork slices you will be enjoying the meal less by the difference between how good egg is and how good pork slices are. That difference is significant. There’s nothing wrong with eggs it is just eggs aren’t pork slices.


One thought on “Pork slices.

  1. Pingback: How to Cook Patriotic Cheese Toasties | Dan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s