Energy sausages

How many times have you been stuck with the dilemma of wanting to eat solids but knowing if you do, you will be overcome with fatigue and you won’t be able to go out all night?  If you are anything like me; at least twice.

If only there was a meal that was healthy, nutritious and quick to prepare that also kept you alert and ready to take on anything the night, or the nightclub security, might have in store for you.

Well, I have discovered just such a meal and I am here to share it with yo,u fellow weblog foodies: Energy sausages.

Spiking your sausage. Incidentally also slang for rubbing you penis with cocaine before sexual intercourse.

Firstly, take an old KFC bucket and crush it down to create a clean surface.  Alternatively, clean a surface. Then take out some uncooked (not pre-cooked) sausages and puncture them generously with a fork, small knife, or Castle Lego spear or sword.

Sausage in a Pint Glass full of Mountain Dew: Not a narcotic or sexual euphemism

Now pour Mountain Dew into a pint glass to about three quarters full.  You don’t have to use regular citrus Mountain Dew, you can also use Mountain Dew: Code Red.  This does, however, mean you won’t infuse your meal with the citrus based nutrients that are only present in green Mountain Dew.  Place the spiked sausages in the pint glass with the Mountain Dew and then go and pass out for a bit.  Or Maybe watch West Wing. Or have an argument with your next-door neighbour.  If she isn’t stealing your shoes, who is?

When you wake up/leave the argument vowing to find out for certain what happened to your shoes, check on your sausages.  They should have absorbed a good deal of the Mountain Dew through the holes in their skin and should now look like infected thumbs.

Place the sausages in a pan and start cooking on a low heat.  As the sausages are cooking, pour on more Mountain Dew.  This should create a hardened sugary shell that locks in succulence.  When the sausages are golden brown or black, they are ready to be served.

And there you have it, a meal that not only tastes scrumptious, but because of the natural stimulant properties of Mountain Dew, will keep you alert and able to do projects or drive around.

Serve with: Chips, cigarettes, more Mountain Dew

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